Reflective Listening and Empathic Responses

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Puzzlement

“I can’t believe I was that intoxicated! I just don’t believe it. Their gizmo must have been broken or something. I just didn’t drink that much and I wouldn’t be driving if I had!”

Empathic Response

It sounds like you are feeling puzzled and you do not understand what had happened to you before the road guard stopped you. Anyway, you do not need to quench your feelings, as your reaction to this questionable matter is normal.

Response to the Content

So, you need to get the situation under control. Right now you need to hunt down this question and remember what had happened before you got behind a wheel. Let’s analyze why you lost control.

Resentment

“You don’t expect us to take Alfred into our home, do you? He is mentally ill—he tore up the house a few times. I know he’s my son and I just can’t deal with the way he’s been in the past” (Summers, 2016, p. 186).

Empathic Response

That must be very offending. It sounds like you really feel aggrieved because your son has not behaved decently in your house due to his mental issues. You know, the worst thing that you can do is to start blaming yourself for your unwillingness to invite your son as a guest. Please, do not worry. Your reaction is essential for such a situation. Please, tell me, what happened next?

Response to the Content

The situation must be really important for you, and you seem to be concerned about the relationships with your son. To begin with, you need to decide what you would like to change.

Terror

“I can tell you what scares me most. It’s being by myself at the house one night and having him come back. I don’t know if I can go on living there.”

Empathic Response

You must be really scared when you think about his coming back and imagine it. It sounds like you are really feeling stressed because of that, and you do not need to be afraid to tell me about your fears. Your feelings are essential if we take into consideration your traumatic experience. Please, tell me, what else do you feel?

Response to the Content

So, in other words, you have a strong fear of the past and you feel bad thinking about the man who is the reason for your emotional pain. Right now, you really want to get rid of these fears. For that, you need to analyze what scares you most when you imagine his coming back.

Inferiority Feeling

“I just can’t go to class. Not after making a fool of myself the last time. I got every answer wrong when the teacher called on me, and people were making fun…. It was terrible!”

Empathic Response

The situation that you are telling me about is terrible. It must have been a very unpleasant experience to be laughed at by your classmates. It sounds like you felt insignificant if compared to other students from your class. You must be thinking that you are a very slow learner but this experience cannot be regarded as your fault.

Response to the Content

You are really concerned about your performance and image, and this is why it is hard for you to continue visiting classes. To get rid of your self-doubt, you need to understand that this experience has nothing to do with your mental capacity; it is nothing more than the rudeness of your classmates.

Reference

Summers, N. (2016). Fundamentals of case management practice: Skills for the human services. Boston, MA: Cengage Learning.

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