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The keywords absolute and other hold a pivotal significance in de Beauvoir’s writings, in reference to the statement woman is the absolute Other. While the statement held magnitude in the relevant era, and continues to do so in several aspects in the modern day, it can be argued that there have been social developments that no longer abide by the writings. De Beauvoir uses and draws from several ideals to develop the idea, concluding that man is the subject and woman is the object. This essay will account for the circumstances and ideas behind this statement, as well as evaluate the key arguments and descriptions that have followed.
Prior to critically assessing the statement that a woman is the absolute Other, it is of utmost importance to understand the origins and sources that contributed to this expression. As aforementioned, the statement woman as the absolute other represents the idea that man is the subject and woman is the object. As the subject, men are free to connect and engage with the world, fulfilling roles of their choice, often those attributed to masculinity. Women, however, are the object, brought down to their inherent and social construction in society. For example, just by the virtue of being a woman, one is reduced to their domestic role in society. Beauvoir questions how one can be a human being if they are in the ‘situation’ of a woman – referring to her infamous quote “One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman” (Beauvoir, cited by (Butler, n.d.). Her questioning of one’s humanity based on their gender shows that women are not able to uphold or support their freedom and liberty of action. This automatically prompts women to behave and act to the standards of the society they are part of. These ideas can also be understood as existentialist feminism. Her statement can be looked at with different aspects of her writing, such as The Second Sex. Her thorough analysis of womanhood, myths and the journey following the differing situations of being a woman ultimately surround and support the idea of the absolute and the other, the absolute being the male and the other being the female. Societal structures such as patriarchy have encouraged the continuous oppression of women, and there are many societies in the modern day that still enforce this structure. De Beauvoir’s writings on situations of womanhood portray and contribute to the concept of woman as the absolute other.
Her chapter on situations of womanhood in volume 3, part 2 of her book, The Second Sex, is significant to the statement woman is the absolute Other. The statement is often seen to be proven in her writings, where women are looked at oppressively in each situation. De Beauvoir does not necessarily point out the strengths of womanhood, but rather focuses on where women are let down by society. She starts with an analysis on the married woman, where she expresses a woman’s destiny. The chapter begins with “The destiny that society traditionally offers women is marriage”. The idea that this is what women were inherently built for this social role, makes a woman, as de Beauvoir says, the other. The absolute is able to interact with the world on their own terms, however, the other has a predestined life, one where the ‘successes’ of their life are pre-determined by the structures in society. The idea of marriage for men and women differs but while both sexes need each other, “this necessity has never fostered reciprocity.” (p502). It is then insisted that the man, the absolute, needs a woman to do tasks he himself cannot do in the pursuit of exploring and interacting with the world, e.g. domestic work. The situation of a married woman is to stick to the social construct of a woman in the world and support her spouse by reciprocating his needs but expecting nothing of the same degree in return.
This concept is applicable in many aspects, such as sexual relations, and self-needs and one can even reference Maslow’s hierarchy, specifically love/belonging and esteem, as a form of reciprocity women do not receive, in terms of de Beauvoir’s theories. An example in the modern day is the system of patriarchy, which is said to date back over 6000 years, where the general societal structure is where men hold more power and value than women. It is still highly prevalent in South Asian countries and has held a high stance in inequality through time. Often, women are subjected to traditional roles, not given the same opportunities in education, the workplace and society in general. Religion and tradition lead other women to push women into these traditional roles. Some women are so tied to these roles, instead of encouraging them to progress, they suppress them in these roles. This can be linked back to de Beauvoir’s writings of situations in marriage, as a mother, social life and even old age. Her mention on dowry is significant because although it is illegal in the modern day, many conservative societies tend to encourage dowry. It is seen as a practice that enslaves women to a family and stands almost as a contract between the two families. This can be seen to dehumanize women, and thus prevents them from having feelings of love and belonging in Maslow’s hierarchy. De Beauvoir argues this in the situation of a married woman. An important argument that supports the statement woman is the absolute other, is “she is married, given in marriage by her parents. Boys marry; they take a wife”. This essentially analyses and emphasizes the idea of a woman being the object, because she is being given. She is still the other, because she is not significant, besides all the roles she is destined for, and often the idea of having a baby girl has been looked at as a burden rather than a blessing. Society has constructed the idea of women being a burden, a woman must be given away but must be beautiful and desirable for a man. Additionally, a woman does not carry forward any of the familial traditions, such as last name, religion, customs and beliefs. A woman, instead, gives herself to a man, and adapts to the needs and wants of her husband. This is not ideal for the traditional family. Modern day has seen a change in roles, where both husband and wife work or even the rise of ‘house-husbands’. While de Beauvoir’s theory remains mostly relevant in today’s day, these writings do not necessarily occur in every situation.
A woman’s destiny is further analyzed in the situation as body, as a mother, in old age. De Beauvoir boldly states that a woman’s physiological destiny is to give birth. That is her purpose, and once she is of old age, a woman has no identity, no true merit left in life. De Beauvoir argues that it is not the biological condition of being a woman that amounts to being disadvantaged, rather it is how a woman reacts and responds to her environment. No experience unique to a woman, biologically, such as, the [development of] female sex organs, menstruation, pregnancy, or menopause have a negative significance to society. However, in a conservative, oppressive society, they can be looked at as a burden, a situation that must be ‘handled’. This can be argued because de Beauvoir previously referred to pregnancy and childbirth as being a woman’s physiological destiny. Providing that is the case in her theory, it is worth considering and questioning why the biological functions necessary for a woman to fulfill this same destiny, which has been instilled by the values of society, would be a burden. Do the development of the biological systems of a woman hinder the progress of a man or society? Observing this, De Beauvoir talks extensively of the values and beliefs in the patriarchal society, questioning the system and its outcomes. However, rather than looking into how to abolish such a system, or attempt to uproot it, she simply disputes how a woman can be free in the system of patriarchy. This can arguably be perceived as unjust, as it implies that a woman has no choice but to work much harder than a man to flourish in an oppressive society.
Going back to the idea “one is not born, rather becomes a woman”, it is worth questioning, how does one actually become a woman? Pre-adolescent boys and girls tend to have similar, if not the same, sexual desires as they begin to develop. Where does this all change? One perspective on this is that even when a girl tries to forget the oppressive situation placed on her just by the virtue of her biological being, society constantly reminds her that she must follow a strict set of standards. Phrases such as “sit like a girl,” “close your legs,” “cover-up,” “don’t be so rough” and so on, as well as the idea that girls should always be well presented and made up, immediately change the balance between a girl and a boy. Furthermore, de Beauvoir talks about how as women’s bodies develop, they experience more trauma and society reacts in an aggressive, intimidating manner. However, this concept is flawed as it asserts (and promotes the idea that?) that girls are always attributed automatically to organizational and domesticated roles, and men are never attributed to these roles. While feminism talks about equality on the ground of the sexes, de Beauvoir’s theory can sometimes be flawed in actually pursuing this; when she talks about a boy and man’s inability to perform tasks for themselves, it can be argued that she is automatically disfavouring their abilities. While these statements are based off the structures of society, de Beauvoir could have potentially taken a different outlook and talked about men being able to perform these tasks – if society gave it a chance. In the modern day, while there are societies that still promote traditional roles, there are many examples of where men have been seen as capable of taking care of themselves, as opposed to her writings. A simple example is boys at university away from home or working their first job. Their female classmates/colleagues will not be doing their domestic work for them – this is a responsibility they have to take up. Another outlook on de Beauvoir’s idea that woman is the absolute other, is that she speaks on general terms, based on research and personal experience. The writings are generalized and therefore it can be argued that they cannot assess each individual and their situation, for better or for worse.
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